When you go for a trek on a Friday just to savor the woods, it means you are in real leisure. The trail was just a yard away and to not know that it existed was a real ignorance.A  Bunting Indigo twirled its tail had its snack right before me.   

 First day of Fourth Grade and First day of LKG :-

Akhil woke up jet lagged at 1 o clock at night , 4 o clock and again ( waking me up at 6 ) angrily because he is now really getting late to school .Asked us a 100 times if it was 9 o clock and killed us with his random questions from nowhere ( can race drivers compete from three different countries at same time ) at the most oddest moments when I myself was sleepy and groggy and hardly able to focus on anything except find the right lunch boxes and snack boxes for 2 kids this time. Phew what a morning it was.

Pranav woke up at 4 and played ,cried and had couple of snacks by 8 when I gave them a proper lunch of his 'pappu' maam and curd rice.Cried again from sleep and for Screen time. Managed to drop both the kids by 9 with a note to the new teacher that he might fall asleep any moment after 12.Wonder ,wonder its 6 in the evening and he still did not sleep.

Managed to take a picture of both the kids outside school.

Last day of third grade and more

The last day of thrid grade started with AB rummaging his clothes for something that would look good for a movie with school friends. He wanted a short and upon not finding one he settled for swim trunks. I  helped him find something more filmy and with  three pop corn bags and a lunch box he was off to school. His brother took a more dramatic turn and yelled at us for more cheerios in his lunch box and off he went.

20 years back on this day the twin towers crashed. I remember my father looking at the reel which was being played on loop on TV saying that a war was imminent. On rushing to college and taking the stairs to the classroom from the back side of the building, there were groups of people crowding and talking in the most animated tone  about the fall of the towers and how a Powerful nation would react to it. People were worried at the backlash the incident would bring. Many students who wanted to take a flight to the US decided its best to go to Australia. And so did many. Frankly I did not think of it much of it..I had no plans for the Australia or the US. But I think the fall of the towers affected everyone in some way or the other.We passed out the following year after 8 months. Like the fall of the towers there was fall of jobs almost in all parts of the world.I mean how could it be. It was somewhere in NYC that happened but how did it affect almost everyone one in the world.But it did and it did in its own way. Parents who had sent the kids to US after investing or selling some property stopped smiling for some time. How would they repay the loan? Cousins stopped calling afraid of the repercussions it would have from talking to someone in a third world country. Relations crashed just like the towers in many ways.Some whose visa got rejected were smiling grimly. After all God had saved them.Some friends who had loans quietly married anyone who proposed and had a job in the US.It was the safe way for the time being. Kids who wanted to do Phd quietly went for the DBA job that was in the market.Many people were cross their US visa was rejected. They blamed it on many things. On people around them on having friends who had no ambition.

After maybe 12 years I was standing at the big hole where the twin towers stood.As I tood and looked at the holes before me there was so much pain and a deep bitter sadness whic hcaught hold on the heart. I think it happens to many poeple as I saw many crying quietly there. The souls of the departed did not really depart from there.Such is the action of two people who never thought they could do something did it and created a hole which would never be filled in history.

Why were we not taught to love someone with our whole heart? Why is it so impossible to express your love? How do you find the words at the right moment to tell the other loving heart to 'Listen' ..my heart is beating for you?

 There is something strange of a woman who is 40 ..someone who has a wild look of anxiety....someone who lives in a city with no friends and family..some one who is alomost forgotten by everyone ..

to be a sucker of romantic movies.

In my wildest dreams also, I never thought there would be such a situation as today.You cannot call anybody for the fear of receiving bad news about somebody. You cannot talk to somebody about your fears . You cannot go anywhere. How do you  handle death? How can you forget somebody's warmth and love once they leave? How do families cope with loss? 

Life is going on with these morbid thoughts in the background.